Tags
Exchange, Exchange student, Groups, Growth, Insecurity, Introversion, Introvert, Morocco, People, Quiet, Rabat, Travel
If you’ve ever met me in person, you know I’m a introvert. Rather be reading a book, hates small talk, can spend 5 hours alone in her room kind of introvert. I love to stay busy, but my time at the end of the day alone is essential to my happiness.
Growing up, I embraced my introversion. I usually hate parties, and I wouldn’t want to like them. I speak when I have something to say, and I wouldn’t want to do otherwise.
But when I applied for YES Abroad, I started to become insecure about my personality. The people I met at IPSE (In-Person Selection Event) all seemed so self-assured. They loved sitting in 30-person circles and screaming over each other’s heads. I had to force myself to do my homework in the same room as other people. I’m not shy, but I don’t like large groups. One of my roommates at IPSE commented to me “you don’t like talking to other people, do you?” I thought that was rich, coming from the girl who spent an entire day in our room alone, but I also took her words to heart. What if I couldn’t go on exchange because I liked being alone? Did being an introvert make me a bad exchange student?
I embarked on an existential crisis, where I momentarily hated all extroverts thanks to the book Quiet and told all the members of my YES Abroad group that I was an introvert, so that they wouldn’t expect too much from me. I was honestly scared of “failing” exchange because I was an introvert.
I was told at PDO that I was selected because of my ability to reach out to others and always interact, even when I was sad. My insecure brain responded with “how could I do that as an introvert? When I’m sad, won’t I just want to be alone? Won’t I rather read a book than participate in cultural activities? Won’t I be isolated from the group because I don’t always like to be around people?”
Insecure Sadie was wrong. Introversion is not a handicap, especially on exchange. Just like at home, I’m able to interact with people without a problem in Morocco. I’ve met extroverts here who are less confident then I am with strangers. I have a strong relationship with my host family, and I’m close with the entire YES Abroad group.
But introversion has impacted my year in a few ways:
- Alone time is so essential to me. Because being in my room before bed at my host family’s house would be considered rude, I have to get creative. Most of the time, that means staying up far later than I would in the US. I say goodnight around 11, and then I stay up until 12:30 or 1, reading alone in my room. It is impossible for me to sleep without that recharging time.
- I have extra powers of observation. Because I’m not always talking, I get to watch the nuances of how my host family interacts with each other. I’ve learned a lot by listening instead of speaking.
- Sometimes I have to force myself to say yes to activities when I want to say no. I often think something will be boring or tiring, and then when I do it I end up having fun. So I’ve learned to disregard my feelings about an activity and just say yes.
- I always enjoy being with smaller groups of people- the entire YES group can still overwhelm me. Groups of four is the perfect maximum, so I just have to be aware of that when I plan my day.
- It’s okay to be alone. It’s okay to spend an afternoon journaling even though other people are spending it in the medina. It doesn’t make me unworthy of being in Morocco.
- I’ve gotten better at relaxing with other people around. I now actively seek out company for the majority of every day, because I know I can be alone at night.
- Surprise, over half of our group is introverted! Exchange isn’t confined to one personality type; there are far more important traits to possess to have a successful year.