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See any people in this picture?

See any people in this picture?

If you’ve ever met me in person, you know I’m a introvert. Rather be reading a book, hates small talk, can spend 5 hours alone in her room kind of introvert. I love to stay busy, but my time at the end of the day alone is essential to my happiness.

Growing up, I embraced my introversion. I usually hate parties, and I wouldn’t want to like them. I speak when I have something to say, and I wouldn’t want to do otherwise.

But when I applied for YES Abroad, I started to become insecure about my personality. The people I met at IPSE (In-Person Selection Event) all seemed so self-assured. They loved sitting in 30-person circles and screaming over each other’s heads. I had to force myself to do my homework in the same room as other people. I’m not shy, but I don’t like large groups. One of my roommates at IPSE commented to me “you don’t like talking to other people, do you?” I thought that was rich, coming from the girl who spent an entire day in our room alone, but I also took her words to heart. What if I couldn’t go on exchange because I liked being alone? Did being an introvert make me a bad exchange student?

I embarked on an existential crisis, where I momentarily hated all extroverts thanks to the book Quiet and told all the members of my YES Abroad group that I was an introvert, so that they wouldn’t expect too much from me. I was honestly scared of “failing” exchange because I was an introvert.

I was told at PDO that I was selected because of my ability to reach out to others and always interact, even when I was sad. My insecure brain responded with “how could I do that as an introvert? When I’m sad, won’t I just want to be alone? Won’t I rather read a book than participate in cultural activities? Won’t I be isolated from the group because I don’t always like to be around people?”

Insecure Sadie was wrong. Introversion is not a handicap, especially on exchange. Just like at home, I’m able to interact with people without a problem in Morocco. I’ve met extroverts here who are less confident then I am with strangers. I have a strong relationship with my host family, and I’m close with the entire YES Abroad group.

But introversion has impacted my year in a few ways:

  1. Alone time is so essential to me. Because being in my room before bed at my host family’s house would be considered rude, I have to get creative. Most of the time, that means staying up far later than I would in the US. I say goodnight around 11, and then I stay up until 12:30 or 1, reading alone in my room. It is impossible for me to sleep without that recharging time.
  2. I have extra powers of observation. Because I’m not always talking, I get to watch the nuances of how my host family interacts with each other. I’ve learned a lot by listening instead of speaking.
  3. Sometimes I have to force myself to say yes to activities when I want to say no. I often think something will be boring or tiring, and then when I do it I end up having fun. So I’ve learned to disregard my feelings about an activity and just say yes.
  4. I always enjoy being with smaller groups of people- the entire YES group can still overwhelm me. Groups of four is the perfect maximum, so I just have to be aware of that when I plan my day.
  5. It’s okay to be alone. It’s okay to spend an afternoon journaling even though other people are spending it in the medina. It doesn’t make me unworthy of being in Morocco.
  6. I’ve gotten better at relaxing with other people around. I now actively seek out company for the majority of every day, because I know I can be alone at night.
  7. Surprise, over half of our group is introverted! Exchange isn’t confined to one personality type; there are far more important traits to possess to have a successful year.